I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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