we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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