I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
