so let's talk penis.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
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Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
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I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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