I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
