So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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