I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I see more hoeing in ur future
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