She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
