it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
