some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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