When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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