Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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