I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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