He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
