A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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