Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
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