Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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