You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize