so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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