I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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