Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
A+ Viking dick
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
