I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
