every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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