Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
