White coat. Heels.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
