everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I love having hate sex.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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