yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
