Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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