i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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