Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
