there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
