it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize