Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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