We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
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