How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
