So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize