Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
