I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
