You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
