I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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