I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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