Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
