I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
