so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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