i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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