Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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