woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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