I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
