My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Randomize
