evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
it hurts more in the daytime
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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