GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
