remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
