She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
