Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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