Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
