oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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