This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
