Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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