I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
