I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I am available for nakedness
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