glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
