You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
